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Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Darts – Doddy Blows Us All Away!

Peter 61.18% Ian 55.88% Dave 48.21% CM 47.67% Steve 45.24%
Papa 42.98% Mike D 41.33% Doddy 38.24% Colin 34.78% Malc 31.71%

Big Respect to the Bad Boys, the darting dudes were back in action again this Tuesday evening, with a foursome that stretches back to the 2006 matches. Pedro, Teddy, ‘Pikey’ Steve and ‘Guffer’ Dodd all handled the flipometers floorlessly after the first toss the teams were Ian and Doddy ‘V’ Pete and Steve. Pretty good sides I reckoned, any one of the players having a good or bad night could make all the difference.

The first game was going with a bang for Ian and Doddy they romped ahead on score, however Pete and Steve started to catch up on bulls and (in my humble opinion) were looking good to steal the game when a travesty happened.

Just as I was lining up on a crucial bull that bastard Dodd let out an almighty wet fart! Order, Order, Order! Outrageous! He then did a little jig to clear his trousers, treating us all to a whiff of an earlier meal; it certainly seemed to contain egg.

Needless to say I missed the bull, I wasn’t sure if it was because I was laughing, disgusted or the dart was blown off course. In any event that did for me and Steve and within another round we had lost the game.

Now, long time members might remember (except Doddy apparently) that one of the few rules laid down at the Bad Boys Darts Club covers players farting. I shall repeat it here so that future claims of ignorance (and possible ignition) can be avoided!


No player shall fart in the clubhouse. If a player has to fart he will:

1. Leave the hut.
2. Close the door behind himself.
3. Fart.
4. Do a jig to clear trapped odours from clothing.
5. Do an extra little jig just in case....
6. Re-enter the hut without trying to waft any ‘fallout’ back inside.
7. Should any (non farting) member smell anything the farting player will repeat all steps apart from step 3.

As an addition to the above please note: If these rules are not complied with the offending (or should that be offensive?) player will have the first dart of his next throw discounted. Be warned, farting in the hut could easily cost you a game!

Anyway, having caught our breath Steve and I launched in to the second leg and came up trumps (not in the same way that Doddy did). Game number three swung back to Ian and Mike. It has to be said they were both playing well and thrashed us. Steve and I were being given a good hiding and running away with our oxygen masks between our legs. Hmmm, was Doddy on that recent Ryan Air flight where the pressure changed and the oxygen masks were deployed?

Ian and Mike piled on the (air) pressure and took the fourth game, Steve and I were feeling exhausted. We thought it was all over but then like so many BBDC evenings it turned in to a game of two halves. Steve and I managed to take the fifth and sixth making a draw, it was just before ten so we all agreed to a decider.

For us the seventh game was a stonker Steve and I played our best game of the night, for Ian and Doddy ‘Ze var vas over’, we gave them a trashing to make up for the drubbing they gave us in game three. Five of the games were stunners very close with multiple lead changes and the like, all very competitive and exciting to play.

Final Score Line DI 134 / 2567

Notable Events:

Everybody had some great runs with big scores, shanghais, double trebles etc.

Teddy Rushton was red hot for a lot of the evening, thankfully he had one or two quiet patches, but yet again he has to be man of the match. It was also great to see Steve starting to get some of his old form back.

Bull Wars: Peter 3, Ian 2, Steve 1, Doddy 1

Chart Changes:

No one actually changes position. Ian floats down a little closer to Dave but some serious darts will have to be played for these two to change places before the end of the BBDC 2008 season!

Steve has edged a lot closer to CM, these two players really need to meet in a hard fought head to head clash to sort out fourth place (I am nearly tempted to try and fix the flipometer results to make it so!

Doddy moves up a tad, the midfield is still very volatile, any player getting a couple of good or bad results on the trot could upset the apple cart.

So as always it is Game On!

Peter x

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Darts – Malcolm Gets Plastered!

Peter 61.30% Ian 56.35% Dave 48.21% CM 47.67% Steve 44.16%
Papa 42.98% Mike D 41.33% Doddy 37.89% Colin 34.78% Malc 31.71%

Summer seems to be waning, the evenings are drawing in, but Bad Boys Darts Club keeps going rain or shine! Mind you some of our members seem to be getting weirder and weirder; Mike D (JA to his fans) was slightly late because he had taken time out to peer through the windows of a local house, examining the room layouts, the decor and even the garden construction.

I think that perhaps he is enrolled in some distance learning stalking degree and this was a practical exam module; although Mike claims it is nothing of the sort and his excuse was that he used to own the house. I will leave you folks to decide which is more likely!

The ‘flipometers’ did their duty on the first flip; pitching Teddy and Pedro against Casablanca Mike, JA and Malc.

Rushers took the middle for diddle and off we went! Well, not quite straight away, Malc produced a suspicious looking crumpled white bag and told us there were hidden delights within, little dark lumps that smelt sweet and pungent. For a moment or two I thought ‘Talcy’ had turned drug dealer and was hoping to get the Bad Boys tripping out for the evening. Of course no such thing was happening, young Malc was merely offering up Liquorice Gums!

The Games – CMJAM took a substantial early lead in the first, however with the aid of double hit of liquorice gums Pete and Teddy managed to snaffle the game at the end. Pete and Teddy took the next game, then the next, then the next, then the next and finally the next! Yes my fellow Bad Boys and Bad Boy Blog fans if you made it through all that next-ing you will realize that a six nil thrashing was handed out to the terrible trio by the dynamic duo.

Officially this appears as: PT 123456 / W CMJAM.

Notable Events:

A bull semi finish and a double semi finish by Pete and Ian. Shanghai Mike threw a Casablanca.

Malc the dealer hit the wall after dropping too many liquorice gums. Thus we designated him ‘plastered’, the wall still has the wound to prove it.

There was lots of inappropriate jokes of a sexual nature (oh look there goes the porn rating again, particularly now I have used the word porn again, oops and again), along with an unnatural interest from several players about being impaled on a three inch pole.

Another story appeared to make ‘Cursing’ Mike Weaver (he swore a lot during the matches) reconsider continuing his other sporting job of boule measurer after we heard the first confirmed fatality in the game happened when a measurer was killed by an over enthusiastic player not waiting for a decision.

Generally a brilliant and very silly evening, with the humour if not the darts on fine form!

Bull Wars: Malc 1, Pete 1

Chart Changes: All Change, Fares Please! CM drops to fourth, Dave goes up to third place. JA moves down two places to seventh position which moves both Steve and Papa up one place each. Malc moves below Colin leaving Malc in tenth position and Colin in ninth. Perhaps this will galvanise Colin in to bettering his four attendances for the year!

All to play for.... Dates for September please JA!

Game on!

Peter x

Thursday, 14 August 2008

September Dates!


If you haven’t provided me with your SEPTEMBER dates yet, they are now urgent. Please let me know as soon as possible!



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Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Darts – Let’s all snort in Sympathy?

Peter 60.27% Ian 54.97% CM 51.25% Dave 48.21% Mike D 44.93%

Steve 44.16% Papa 42.98% Doddy 37.89% Malc 37.14% Colin 34.78%

A six man evening shrunk to four with DR having to cry off a couple of hours before because of unforeseen circumstances and SM having to... well just not turn up for whatever reason. There is now enough no shows on Steve’s attendance record for me to suggest that we add ‘Mr Flipometer’ to his nickname list. Not to find which team he is on, just a side bet on if he will turn up!

So, that left Peter, Ian, Doddy and Casablanca Mike to battle it out. After a flip of the ‘Steveometers’ it turned out that Pete and Doddy were to do pitched battle with Teddy and CM.

Rushers and Honda ripped straight in to the first game; with Pedro and Mr Academy right behind, but come the revolution team Honda took the honours. On to the second game, same story! On to the third game, same story!

By Now Pete and Doddy were feeling pretty sorry for themselves we weren’t playing well, but not badly, and whatever happened we were losing on bulls and the like. We were granted a reprieve in the fourth, no whitewash for us; hurrah!

Sadly (for us) the fifth reverted to Teddy and Cholesterol Mike. Then they smashed us in the sixth, the seventh was another story, the Doddmeister and Pedro were victorious. So much so that we were looking for an eighth game to reduce our loss.

However this was not to be as it appeared that CM has been attending the ‘Steveometer’ school of leaving while ahead! In fairness, when they lost the un-played next game it would only have reduced our exposure rather than changed the overall result.
The final score line? ICM 12356 / 47 ID

The bottom line, Ian and CM deserved the win, Doddy and Pete would have been happier with a 4/3 loss, there were a lot of close games, but in the end we were whooped. Rushers played consistently even if not brilliantly and that was more that the rest of us; I am happy to say that he was definitely MOTM.

Notable Events: There were many, but the one that sticks in my mind is that of my friggin’ partner Doddy making a snorting noise after I missed my target a couple of times... Soooooo encouraging! When questioned why he was ‘barracking’ his own team mid turn he said ‘It was a sympathetic snort’. Be warned we might see a lot more of these in the future!

Bullwars: Ian 3, CM 1, Pete 1, the ‘Sympathetic Snorter’ 0.

Notable Events: Double Semis. Double Trebles, Bull-Semi outs.

Chart Changes: None, Pete and Doddy drop one % each and Ian and CM rise 0.5 and 2% respectively.

Peter x

Monday, 11 August 2008

Darts - Golf Dartboard Rules Are Ready.

With the assistance of Teddy Rushton I have play tested and finalised a set of rules for the recently acquired 'Golf' Dartboard.

The rules can be found in the first posting here:

Shout if you would like to play sometime.


Peter x

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

Darts – Beware, there be Thrashings!

Peter 61.29% Ian 54.35% CM 49.32% Dave 48.21% Mike D 44.93%
Steve 44.16% Papa 42.98% Doddy 38.64% Malc 37.14% Colin 34.78%

Greetings Bad boys!

I am going to try and keep tonight’s reporting short, I think all players concerned will be grateful. There was a lot of to-ing and frow-ing right until the last minute over who could play and who could not, remarkably we still managed to get four players together (thanks to Steve and Dave for standing in, although I dare say they might wish they hadn’t)!

Well, there’s no point pussyfooting around, it was a whitewash. Pete and Casablanca Mike despatched the opposition 7 – 0. I suppose for completeness sake I should state that makes the score line PCM 1234567/W DS.

There were a couple of games where Steve and Dave were contending, particularly the last one where it was down to a close bull finish. However the bottom line was that Mike and I started off pretty well and apart from the odd short dry spell we were on good form, enough I reckon to claim us both as MOTM. I should add that Steve and Dave did not play badly; the darts just didn’t go their way.

Notable Events:

Several double trebles were scored along with a double semi and some Shang-Hi’s.

Steve tried his hand at a little psychic interference, however, he needs a little training to get it right, standing behind his partner as he is about to throw yelling ‘Its fucking flowing Dave, its flowing in...’, didn’t seem to work. He should know by now that you say nothing and then claim PI after a good throw by your team buddy!

Bullwars: Not a big night for dead centres, however CM took the honours with two, Dave and Pete managed one apiece.

Chart Changes: (Cough!) quite a bit of action here. Steve drops from fourth place to sixth, Dave Goes down one place to fourth...

Which means that Casablanca Mike moves up three places from sixth position to take third place. This is CM’s highest position so far and a pretty decent showing considering he is the ‘new boy’, congratulations Mike.

Dave is now just over 1% behind CM and Steve is less than 1% behind J.A. Papa is also in contention with Steve and JA. Doddy and Malc also have a percentage battle going on. So with Doddy, Ian, Malc, Steve and Dave due to play next week it is definitely, GAME ON!

Peter x