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Wednesday 30 July 2008

Darts – Farts, Zapometers, Cholesterol, Super Glue and Psychic Interference!


Peter 60.00% Ian 54.35% Dave 51.43% Steve 48.57% Mike D 44.93%
CM 43.94% Papa 42.98% Doddy 38.64% Malc 37.14% Colin 34.78%

Greetings Bad Boys and Bad Boy’s blog readers. Tuesday night was full of weird Fortean activity, and not all at the Bad Boys Club! We had a couple of no-shows.

Steve rang to say he would be slightly late because he had a flat (tyre) but was never heard of again. The lads decided that he must have been caught in the Uley triangle where a 10 minute tyre change takes 2 hours; we decided to light candles to guide him home. The Doddmeister didn’t appear for the first time ever, we all hope it was a slip of memory and nothing else.

We were still lucky enough to have a four man attendance: Pedro, Redders, Jelly Arm and Cholesterol Mike (more on this later). We flipped the flipometers and lady luck sorted us out on the first flip. Peter and Dave ‘V’ CM and JA.

This might well be a first in my career as BBDC reporter that I find myself needing to report on two pre-match items...

1. Even though Ian ‘Teddy’ Rushton wasn’t playing (Holidaying in France, bastard) at least two players felt it necessary to get a double eleven before we could call the practice session over. This just goes to show how easily conventions are assimilated.

2. We very nearly had our first ‘owned’ middle for diddle. Pedro started with a wildish dart (please note it was still within the treble ring!), Casablanca (for now) Mike pumped a dart much nearer to the bull. Then Dave ‘Redders’ Redbond pierced the semi bull, but it has to be said that the dart was hanging out of the hole like a flaccid dick. Along came Jelly Arm Davies who we all agreed should try and knock Dave’s dart out so that CM’s would win the contest. JA made a valiant attempt. He rattled Dave’s dart, but fortunately it held fast (presumably by some invisible ghostly gossamer pube-like ectoplasm).

On to the games!

The first was taken in swashbuckling style by Pete and Dave; giving no quarter to either of the Mikes.

The second was much closer but still a victory for the non Mikes. Fortunes were mixed over the next few games, there was one where the two Mikes were ten semis behind but nearly clinched it. One where the Mikes were leading but had victory stolen at the last minute...

Curiously we only managed six games, usually that might indicate that players weren’t really on the ball, however it didn’t feel like that, more like less games because they were hard fought!

After all the shenanigans, the final score line was: PD 1235 / 46 MCM.

Notable (and weird) events:

The Weaver referred to a collateral score as a cholesterol score, this was instantly added to the Bad Boys lexicon as an alternative description of the aforesaid random dart throwing!

CM made his first attempt at psychic Interference, it working well with a result from JA, it is clearly catching on!

There were several double trebles scored, although there was no MOTM all players had some hot spots.

Pete offered JA some special finger jelly to help his grip and JA took it even though the bottle clearly stated it was super glue, man he was easy to knobble... Actually we only joked about that, sadly JA had some of the Ten Pin Bowling grip cream I have and it really suited him, helped for a good while I think, consequently this is now a quid a shot (for JA) for anyone else it is free.

Oh and a very weird one, whenever JA wasn’t doing well he took himself off for a talking to, strangely whenever he came back in to the hut the zapometer would fry a couple of flying things.

The general consensus was that JA doesn’t always take himself out for a talking to but often goes for a private fart (much appreciated by all of us) then insects follow the trail back in to be devoured by the zapometer.. hmmm... worth considering, we will check over the next few weeks.

Bull Wars: CM 3, Dave 3, Pedro 3, JA 1

Chart Changes: None! Sad but True.... However...

Dave goes up one percent; Ian is now less than three percent in front. I understand that Dave is ‘gunning‘for him over the next few weeks, even considering extra fixtures to ‘stick it’ to Rushers!

Cholesterol Mike and JA both drop roughly one percent, this brings them firmly in to Papa Fruin’s sights, you both better watch out, if the radish man has a good week next week you could be heading down a slippery slope!

Game On!

Peter X